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A Message From Kathy.

You can apply everything I’ve said about caregiver-philosophy and qualifications in general as it applies to infants and toddlers, but at some point in time things will have to change to accommodate the physical, social, and emotional developmental stages your child will be experiencing as they go from toddler to preschooler.

Preschool children are at the point in their young lives where they want to test everything for themselves. They’re eager and open to new challenges, aware if they are a boy or girl, and because of a greater command of the language, they are able to express their needs as well as their defiance. This is a complicated age. Although they want to establish themselves as separate from you, their common fears might include the introduction to new places and experiences, and yes, separation from their parents.

On the one hand, they’re prone to acting out silliness and using words that are normally forbidden, and on the other hand, they need simple and clear rules that make them aware of what the boundaries are surrounding behavior that is acceptable.

Since three and four year old children fall into the category of preschoolers, most of their developmental stages are key to their ages.  While a three year old might ride a tricycle, a four year old might pump themselves on a swing.  Where one uses short sentences, the other uses complete sentences; where the younger one can wash and dry their face or skip on one foot, the other can hop, skip, tie shoes, and dress without help.

Although they are both no longer toddlers, there is a range of development in the three and four year old category that sets them apart. But one thing is common to all; they want to experience everything through smell, taste, touch, and sound. This is the way they go about learning.  They’re eager to develop and busy at learning new skills; they’re using language to communicate, and trying their hardest to keep control of their emotions.  Their growing independence is more noticeable. They might still demonstrate some difficulty getting along with other children, including that of sharing as well. With blossoming imaginations, they may have problems distinguishing fantasy from reality and will talk about imaginary friends. This is a time that your guidance and the guidance of your caregiver is necessary to establish the boundaries of the acceptable behavior I spoke about earlier.

They test you constantly while eager to follow the rules. That’s the ambiguity that surrounds the growth of a preschooler. It’s a transitional time in their lives and a wonderful time in yours as you watch them slowly develop their individual milestones. Enjoy.

★ CHILD CARE Tips

A Preschooler's Need To Deal With Jealousy.

Let’s discuss a common problem of a preschooler from the preschooler’s point of view.

You just brought home a new baby and your preschooler is proudly wearing that “big sister” t-shirt you bought her, excited about her new role in the family dynamics. However, that’s was the story a month or so ago, but now, things seem to have changed, and in her eyes, not for the better. Now she seems miserable; she’s clingy, tearful, even exhibiting an aggressive stance toward her new sibling. What made things change so soon? Is it jealousy?

So soon to you is not so soon to your preschooler. Your preschooler has been putting up with a lot of changes for a long period of time in her short life. That little baby you brought home a month ago is rapidly changing from a helpless little infant into a real child, one who needs the type of attention you always gave to his older sister. He’s charming and cuddlesome, and you’re giving a whole lot more of your attention and praise to him than you ever have.

From her point of view, the baby went from being an occasional amusement to one who’s always in her way, crawling or walking around and getting into her stuff. You used to talk and do a lot of things with her while you tended to your newborn infant, but now, the baby is different and has to always be picked up when he cries, talked to, soothed, and praised, while you have less time to do all those things you used to do with her. Now you treat her more like a grownup. She’s told how big she’s become, she’s reminded that as a big girl she shouldn’t cry, must learn to share her stuff, and not get mad. Is it any wonder that she’s feeling a little envious?

What they will do: To reclaim the attention they lost to the baby, preschoolers may often make an attempt to also become a baby, using this regression to reclaim their sense of security.  Or, if they manifest their attention-getting with anger by exhibiting aggression toward everyone around them, punishment might not be a deterrent, because in their eyes, negative attention is preferable to no attention at all.

What you can do: Be prepared; if you know it’s coming the effect won’t be as disturbing. Set aside some time for just you and your preschooler, time that you know you can devote without interruption. Give her the adoring baby treatment. She might want to pretend to be diapered and fed and baby-talked as you do with her younger sibling. Don’t be concerned, because as the natural urge to grow up returns, she’ll discover that she no longer wants to be a little baby after all.